I’m on a long train… …of thought and I need to get off The next stop is denial I carry my tangibles tight wouldn’t wanna get robbed of a swelled head or pompous speech My precious ego under attack But she needs to die thrown to the tracks I know I am worthy this I believe But waiting for Mr Conductor to validate me… going nowhere fast
“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”—Alice Walker, Living by the Word (via larmoyante)
When Black men talk about these experiences we are told we are being too sensitive. We are reminded that other groups have it worse. We are told that the police are just doing their jobs and we should respect that. What is never acknowledged is the absolute humiliation of these experiences, how victimized we feel afterwards, and how they make many of us distrust law enforcement altogether. Doug Glanville by virtue of his celebrity was able to share his experience with the world. I am thankful he has. Many of us walk away from these experience left only with our bitterness.