“He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others—the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.”—Jonathan Safran Foer (via itreallyisworseforme)
We tend to say things we don't mean when we're hurt.
When you’re hurt, you end up not being in your right state of mind. Your emotions get so bottled up, they begin to build up, and then you get so frustrated. Sooner or later it will lead you to say things you don’t think about before saying them. But at the same time, it feels good to just let out all the negativity you’ve been holding inside. It’s the ‘wrong but feels so right’ type of feeling when you say those things you don’t mean to say.
Gotta add…I’ve gotten a lot better at NOT doing this….
This year, I decided I’m not going to let anyone spoil the holiday season for me. If you hate the holidays I’m not the guy to be around. I’ll be playing accuradio christmas carols, eating my ass off, and getting spirited all season. It’s been a wonderful year and I have much to be thankful for.
I just got back from a lunch time walk and man, I love this time of year! The trees, FAO Schwartz, the Saks Fifth Avenue windows and…let’s just say there is just nothing like Christmas time in New York City. The people get a little nicer. The place smells a little better. Things are a little cheaper. Notice I said “a little” because things are still pricy for sure
but that’s not my main issue…
Every year, I encounter holiday haters who inevitably spoil the season for me with their grinchiness. Right before Thanksgiving it’s “I hate my family” “I don’t feel like seeing (insert family member, who you talk about like a dog and then when they get there you all in their face grinnin’)” ”I don’t feel like cooking” or “you know what the pilgrims did to the Indians right?” YES! I’m aware of the history (very sordid and sad indeed), I’M SORRY you hate your family (I don’t) NOW, pass the gravy please, thanks.
Then around Christmas it’s “I hate shopping”, “THEY just want you to spend more money” or my personal favorite “You know Jesus wasn’t born in December right?” Stop lying, no one hates shopping, they hate buying other people shit, but people generally love shopping for themselves. That’s called selfishness and it’s bad for you. Yes, they do want you to spend money, you do that everyday anyway, besides a little spending is good for the economy. “Yes, I’m aware it’s not his exact birth date, but since we don’t know his exact birth date I’m okay with celebrating it on 12/25. (All the Jesus Birthers never come out in October and say it’s Jesus’ birthday…Happy Birthday Jesus!…No, they wait until December to say…IT’S NOT HIS BIRTHDAY!!!…booooo)
Something I find strange too is that those that don’t like Thanksgiving and Christmas…LOVE New Year’s Day and that shit ain’t nothing but drunken debauchery. Here’s New’s Year’s day in an nutshell: “Happy New Year!” Hangover, “Did we have sex?”, College Football, Shit! I have to work tomorrow….aaaand we’re done.
Look, I know it’s all commercialism and I don’t mean in anyway to minimize the stress people feel around the holidays. I particularly feel for those who are alone and depressed around the holidays because of loss loved ones and such. I know what that’s like and I know it’s not easy to deal with.
This post is not meant for those people.
This post is meant for the general holiday hater.
The person who can’t seem to find a place of happiness in their hardened heart to happily gather with family, eat, watch the Lions lose, give each other gifts, and embrace the season for what it is….a time for sharing and showing appreciation to and for the people you love.
“When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.”—Fred Rogers
“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever…”— Isak Dinesen